Nashville

Bearded sexy men with guitars and banjos.

Sipping on their warm PBR.

Slapping their boots on the hard wood floor.

Sitting in a circle. Eyes wide. Creating.

Music.

Sound.

Souls coming alive.

It is all around. 

Music.

Fresh. New...Dipped in all different types of flavor.

No one hides it...It is shouted.

The feeling it brings.

Reaching deep.

Exposing yourself.

Vulnerable to the sound.

One Less

The Walk...
Through Life.
The Connection.
With People...
Feelings.
Words.
Thoughts.
Laughter...
Tears..
The Connection.
The vulnerability.
The lack of reality.
The inability to hold back.
Folding in. Folding out.
Phasing away.
Empty.
Gone.
Friends.
Lovers.
One Less.
Then One More.
It is never the same.
Continually moving.
Can't hold on.
It is the pace of life.
The way things happen.
Grow with it.
It starts all over again.

Don't Force Life

So easy words: Follow your gut. Let life happen. Don't force anything.

It is hard to find the balance: Are you not doing this because you are scared or because it is not right for you?

I NEVER want to walk away from something because I am scared. The fear is what makes you grow.

Ahh! I've never felt so stagnant. This life...This plan..This huge decision may be put on hold. I can not put any part of my life on hold. I need to keep going. I have too much energy...too much drive...too much ambition...what if I can't fit it all in? What if it does not happen?  All these questions that engulf my mind.

So stop forcing it. At least that is what my inner guide told me in meditation class last night.  I keep trying to direct something that just needs to flow.

Whatever decisions I make. Whatever direction I take...Wherever I end up...It is about the journey...not the destination.

Life Goal

Fuck the cold.
Why did I leave Maui?
I could have lived/worked there. The opportunity was open for me.
But because of my inability lately...to sit in one place for awhile...I felt that I needed to move on.
See my family for Christmas...before I leave the country for a year.
Although it all seems pointless now.
Putting on my long underwear, wrapping a scarf around my neck and face so I don't shiver more than I already am.
It is so hard for me to find happiness in one place.
I am addicted to the move.
Addicted to the idea of getting up and going, whenever I want.
I am being extremely selfish right now.
Not making any decisions upon anyone else.
It is all what I want to do..when I want to do it...where I want to be.
And I can openly admit that I don't feel bad about that...at all.
This may be my only opportunity in life to be completely selfish.
See where life takes me.

If Home is Where the Heart Is..Then My Heart is on the road.
Seeing.
Feeling.
Embracing.
Loving.
As Much As I Possibly can.

I want to see it all. I want to do things that scare me, things that make me feel uncomfortable...

Uncomfortability=Fear=Challenge=Growth=Bad Ass Conversations with wine and cheese.

And that is my life goal: Bad Ass Wine and Cheese Conversations.