Maui

Your energy.
Seduces each craving I have.
I'm drawn to your intensity.
You open up parts of me that I have been hiding for awhile.
I have never felt more alive.

Maui.

Your mystical personality is making my heart beat faster.
Something about the way you move...
The way you fit a world full of curious people in your hands.

The beauty of you, draws people.
They run away from a saddened life...
Hoping to escape reality.
And some are able to escape reality...
as long as you don't spit them out as soon as their energies become selfish.

I hope I have given you the best part of me.
 I hope I have opened up myself and let go of my worries.
I hope you have taught me self-acceptance and compassion.


Cause I know.
My love for you will remain a memory...
Almost like a dream I once had in your presence....
with your energy...
Guiding my heart.
To be the best I can in life.
Because that is all I can be.

Extremes

Balance.
Yesterday I was in Napa..Sitting on a blanket..sipping wine..eating grapes and olives..sleeping in a bed with oversized blankets and swimming in a pool till the skin on my fingers started to look like a newborn child's ass.

Today dirt fills my fingernails from the sweet peas I am planting. I am sweating profusely because I am in a 110 degree greenhouse. I slap the fly that hits my knee..extremes.

I have gone from one extreme to the other.
I am learning how to adapt.
With each surrounding that I am placed in.
You have to do this because there is no guarantee in anything.
This journey has taken me through many extremes.
Through many layers of myself...the more I see. The more I feel. The more antsy I get to feel and see more.

I will not lie. I miss stability. I miss consistent relationships...consistent sleeping patterns..knowing where my life was going each day.

But life is about just being...Just being in the present moment...We can constantly strive for more..never finding satisfaction in the present moment...but we will never be able to completely LIVE if we worry about making the present moment better than exactly what it is...and that is life...the very moment that you are living right now.

Embrace it all.

People come and go.
Money comes and goes.

But the present moment is all that we have. Living in that moment is the hardest part of life...it is my life challenge..my life goal.