Here I thought I was living completely free...letting go of any sense of direction and allowing this idea of the energy of the universe to control me.
God I sound like an Acid-tripping, Tree-Hugging, Vegan-Eating, Animal-Saving Hippie... Ew.
Life seems to fall into place with some people...Here is the perfect job that suits you, the perfect people to surround you to make your seratonin levels shoot the roof with happiness...and while we are at it, How about the perfect lover that can make you scream in bed as well as provide enough emotional support that you don't need that second glass of wine past midnight.
And then there is my life. Constantly searching, never happy in one-spot...curious...curious about the adventure that each place brings...so I say, bring it on...I'm ready for the next adventure...But to find myself exactly where I started....waiting.
So then I ask, Ok...maybe I'm doing it wrong. Maybe I have done it all wrong...I should have listened to the pastor when I was twelve years old, still neive to all concepts of life...and carried the Bible with me everywhere I went, telling everyone around me to believe in Jesus or otherwise suffer the shit of Hell.
Or maybe I should have listened to the parents, "Get a steady job so that you can start your retirement plan, establish yourself in society...so your hardwork will pay off with a nice house and nice things."
Or maybe I should have listened to my grandma: "Get married, have kids...that is enough"
Or the homeless man I met in Chicago one night: "Don't start smoking the dubey, or drinking the Alchi...Don't trust a man and don't trust a women....Keep your ass tight and your eyes wide...spare a dollar for a peice of pizza?"
God the advice I have received from everyone of which path to take...which door to open...which door not to open...Yet I find myself opening every door...leaving before I see the opportunity...so that I can try the other door too.
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