Drum Stomachs

Car full of shit (not literally)..smells like Tea Tree Oil.

Erika blasting Florence and the Machines..screaming at the top of our lungs every time we hit a new state: WHHAAAA! Sometimes Erika makes a silly face and I giggle, but then realizing that I am driving through  a small dust storm I put my concentration back on the road in order to stay alive. Ha.

Colorado has been beautiful..parts of my want to stick my toes in the dirt and stay awhile..the view..the mountains..the company..the people...

I have had more conversations about life than I have had in a really long time..Everyone that I am surrounded with right now seems to be striving for the same goal: Living in the MOMENT..no worries about future or past, but the now..letting life just happen; which has become my new goal for this: Live in the Moment...Ha Easier said than done.

Erika and Em are curled up on a deflating air mattress while Mariel resides curled up in blankets reading a thick novel. Weather is chilly. My toes are cold. Now they are smacking there stomachs making drum beats with their skin. Silly people. Love it.

Brother

Brother is amazing.
He is my inspiration.
I've been feeling extremely unstable lately, so I called him.
Never before in my life have I felt like I needed a big brother besides the point in my life right now.

He told me that right before you are about to take an adventure...step outside of a life of consistency, of stability...that things start to happen trying to hold you back. It is almost like the energy of life is working against this adventure than for it.

Keep going. Take the leap....anchor yourself to something so you can atleast stay grounded, but you need to take the adventure in which will pull you deeper in life, deeper in an understanding of yourself, of your strength.

I feel like I'm going through a tremendous change. Everything around me is changing. So many things that I am experiencing is beginning to make life finally making sense, while also being the most confusing thing ever.

I'm going to change so much..I can feel it coming on...I can sense it in the pit of my soul.  I'm afraid to leave the old me behind...but there is no turning back now.

Using my brother as inspiration...I'm going to take the leap...Pull myself deep into these experiences...let life take its hold on me and pull me into a journey in which will shape my soul.

.

Heartfelt hugs.
Lasting words.
Expressive smiles.
Child laughs.
Tipsy toes.
Egg White Walls.
Spinning dresses.
Musical hands.
Voice full expression.
Lover of yesterday.
Tears of fulfillment.
Degree worth lasting.
Friends worth keeping.
Children worth teaching.
Barefoot scars.
Piano by the stars.
Pigeons delight.
Towers reaching height.
Homeless smells.
Church ringing bells.
Bicycle Wind.
Let the DJ Spin.
New Soul Departs.
Old Soul Left Apart.
Goodbye Midwest.
I've had my Best.

Something

I hope that there is something more. 

Something more to love.

 Something more to people. 

Something more to mornings. 

Something more to food.

Something more to sleep.

Something more to everything.

I find myself constantly disatisfied.

My expectations are raised high, and I am beginning to think it is too high. 

I just want the PASSION

The complete INTENSITY

This fire burning inside me needs to be expressed in a way that I can feel safe and grounded at the same time.

I have a hard time grounding myself. Finding that place of contentment.

I'm never content.

Always wanting more.